But much before tragedy hit my home, I had been going through different kinds of emotions as a reporter, who had to meet Covid-hit people and scores returning to Bihar from different places. My wife would pack at least three meals for my field trips. Save only a few friends, no one came forward or risked hosting me during such trips.

During the first wave, I met people in Danapur riverine belt daring the virus: "Corona ko to hum chaba jayenge (we will chew down Coronavirus)". But illusions of immortality fell flat during the second wave with the dance of deaths and sighs of helplessness everywhere. Hospital beds and emotions were exhausted.?

An IPS officer and two politicians helped many who had approached me for help. I can never forget how the IPS officer had sent a compounder with help of a police station in-charge to give life-saving anti-diarrhoeal treatment to the wife of a? journalist friend.?

What I wrote during the three waves of Covid is a reflection of what we all went through during those testing times. It tells stories of isolation, migration, human suffering and nature taking its revenge on us to the fragility of life in the post-Covid world in which people of any age are dying of unexplained diseases. We passed through a phase of a different kind of untouchability in the history of human history. We all are gathering pieces of life to reinstate faith in our legs to move ahead. Life does not need anything to celebrate. Survival itself is only resolution and celebration.?

Here are those different strokes of emotions in black and white:?

Prakash aur tam

Kabhi socha kyun shuru hoti hai Shreemad Bhagvad Gita Dhritrashtra uvaach se??
Ye shuru ho sakta tha Arjuna ke sanshay se,?
Bhisma-Karna ke uhapoh se,?
Ya phir sidhe Shree Bhagwan uvach se.?

Dhritrashtra Shayad isiliye ki jivan ka aarmabh hi andhkar se hua hai,?
Garbh ke gahan andhkar se,?
Roshni? to suraj ka kartab hai,?
Naisargik to tam hi hai.?

Prakriti kuchh bhi samete liye ja rahi hai,?
Ek aandhi ki tarah,?
Jo gira deti hai rassikt aur rasonmukh aamon ko ek saath,?
Jivan ka aesa ksharan,?
Timir ka aesa varan.?

Teen lahar,?
chouthe ki aashanka,?
Thodi si vaigyanik agyanta,?
In lahron ke paar bhi jo gaya,?
Uske kuprabhav se sashankit,?
Yaksh phir na luchh baithe - aashcharya kya hai??
Is baar jawab hoga - durvaar jijiwisha.?

Jivan se jyada jivanbima suna ja raha hai,?
Mediclaim lene ki aapadhapi hai,?
Aayurved kitne prasangik ho gaye hain,?
Saheje ank se kuchh to sarak raha hai,?
Kuchh to kahi teji se darak raha hai.?

Is baar Gita Shree Bhagwan uvach se shuru ho,?
Unhe hi samjhana hoga prakash aur andhkar ka dwand,?
Ab Dhritrashtra ke saath Arjuna, Duryodhana aur sabko divyadrishti chahiye,?
Jaan to lein andkaar ke pare kya hai,?
Jivan ka Mahabharata ko koi samjha de.?

(Light and Darkness?

Have you ever thought why the Mahabharata begins with speech of Dhritrashtra??
It could have begun with doubts of Arjuna,?
Or confusions of Bhisma and Karna,?
Or better instead, with speech of the God Himself.?

It began with Dhritrashtra because life itself has originated from darkness,?
From stark darkness of womb,?
Light is but antic of the Sun,?
What is natural is darkness.?

Nature is taking away anything,?
Like a tempest,?
That makes fall ripe and ripening mangoes alike,?
What erosion of life!?
Such embrace of darkness!?

Three waves,?
Apprehension of the fourth,?
Such ignorance of science,?
Those who got over these waves are afraid of its side effects,
Who knows Yaksh may again ask - what is surprise??
This time, the answer could be - an unyielding desire to live.?

One? hears more about life insurance than life,?
People are jostling to take mediclaim policy,?
Ayurveda has become so relevant from nowhere,?
Something is slipping away from the warm embrace,?
Something is cracking somewhere.?

Let Gita begin this time with God's speech,?
He alone has to explain the conflict between light and darkness,?
Not just Dhrisrashtra but Arjuna, Duryodhana and all others want divine sight now,?
Let one know for once and all that lies beyond darkness,?
Someone needs to explain the meaning of the Mahabharata of life.)

Dusri Lahar?

Tumhari pahli lahar kya kam thi??
Kyon lout aayi ho phir??
Ye dekhne ke liye ki hum kitne lute hain?
Kitne bache hain!?

Abhi to hamne milna shuru kiya tha,?
Haath ki garmjoshi kuchh wapas aa rahi thi,?
Dil bhi milne lage the,?
Man bhi khilne lage the.?

Phir tum aa gayi dusri lahar lekar,?
Kahin aur ghatak, marmantak,?
Lagta hai prakriti ab knockout round khel rahi hai,?
Hamari pratiraksha se, jeene ke jajwe se.?

Samvedna aspatal jaate jaate dum tod rahi hai,?
Doctor bhi yantravat hone lage hain,?
Manav ab aankda banta ja raha hai,?
Sparsh shabd bhar se man koundh jaata hai

Durvaar jijivisha hi bachati rahi hai manav ko,?
Dusri lahar ke paar kuchh achha honewala hoga,?
Sangharsh vhalta rahega,?
Jivan waise ho kab yuddhviram hai??

(The Second Wave?

Was your first waveless dreadful??
Why did you return after all??
Did you want to know how much deprived we are??
You perhaps wanted to know how many of us survived.?

We had just started meeting,?
Warmth of handshakes had also started returning a bit,?
We had started embracing one another,?
Faces had also started lighting up.?

You came with your second wave,?
More dangerous and deadlier one,?
Looks Nature is playing knockout round,?
Against our immunity and will to survive.?

Sensitivity is dying on its way to hospitals,?
Doctors are looking like machines,?
Humans are becoming statistics,?
The word "touch" sends a chill down the spine.?

Unyielding will to live alone survives humans,?
Maybe something good is in store beyond the second wave,?
Struggle continues,?
Life is never a ceasefire in any case.)

Karwat?

Lagta hai kalyug apne ant ki or agrasar hai,?
Aur satyug aane ki dundubhi jald hi bajegi,?
Prakriti ab apna santulan banane lagi hai,?
Manav ne uski chetavani suni hi nahi.?

Apni attalika banane ki dhun me sab kuchh bhool gaya,?
Sarpat doud raha tha apne lobh aur dambh ke saath,?
Prakriti ne socha manav ko uski nyunta batayi jaaye,?
Sparsh sankraman ke ek hi vaar se manuj tilmila gaya,?
Saari dharti vikal ho gayi hai ek hi prahar se.?

Prakriti ne puchha - ab batao kahan jaoge??
Chaand par ya mangal grah par ya phir rasatal,?
Jaise Arjuna ke Khandavprastha vinash se Nagraj dahal gaye the,?
Aaj ke saare Manav-Naag apne bilon me ghuse huye hain,?
Sadak par pashu pakshi vichran kar rahe hain,?
Ye wahi hain jiske ghar hamne tod daale the.

Dharti ka jwar bhi anayas kamne laga hai,?
Kolahal aur aapadhapi ekdum shaant ho gaya hai,?
Niravta ka sangeet sunai dene laga hai,?
Dhundh jo chhata jo Sita ke dwar se Himalaya dikhne laga hai,?
Sattasinon ke mahlon par mor naachne lage hain,?
Samay ka gharghar naad saaf sunai de raha hai,?
Prem, karuna aur sah-astitva ekmatra upay hai.

(The Turn

Looks Kalyug is marching towards its end,?
And arrival of Satyug is just round the corner,?
Nature has now been making its balance,?
After all, humans paid no need to her warnings.

Humans forgot everything in their mad rush to build sky-scrappers,
They have been running without caution in its avarice and conceit,?
Nature thought of teaching humans some lessons about its dwarfishness,?
One stroke of virus contraction shook its existence,?
The entire earth grew restive with just one hit of Nature.?

Asked Nature - where would you like to go now??
To the Moon or Mars or Interno??
Just as cobras were shaken with Arjuna destructing Khandavprastha,?
Human-cobras have now been hiding in? their holes,?
And animals and birds are walking freely on roads,?
They are the ones whose homes we had destroyed.?

The earth's temperature is coming down,?
Noise and mad rush have come to a halt,?
One can clearly listen to music of solitude,?
With mist clearing, Himalaya can be now seen from Sita's gate,?
Peacocks are dancing on palaces of the powerful,?
The groaning sounds of time can be clearly heard,?
Love, compassion and co-existence are only way out.)?

Namaste

Pranam, namaskar, namaste, pranipat,?
Ye to sadiyon se hamare samskar the,?
Phir Paschim sr ek hawa chali,?
Aur aatithya sharir ho gaya,?
Haath milane ki parampara chali,?
Hamara namaste prachin ho gaya,?
Hamne bhi khoob haath milaye,?
Aur pragatishil ho gaye,?
Haath mile, gale bhi milne lage,?
Aalingan ki jutniti chal padi,?
Daihik sampark aatithya me samane laga.?

Phir China se ek hawa chali,?
Satah sanchar se duniya trast huyi,?
Mahashakti bhi tharra gayi,?
Hamne apne haath pichhe kar liye,?
Chehra chhupa liya,?
Gahan sampark wale asprishya ho gaye,?
Ghar me chhipne lage,?
Doston ke saath chaay ka dour khatm hua,?
Aashanka ka yug shuru hota hai,?
Pata nahi joun kahan se aaya hai,?
Kis jamaat se louta hai.?

Darte darte ham phir namaste karne lage,?
Dar se hi sahi samskar lout aaya hai,?
Aalingan-chumban bhi ab bhaymukta nahi,?
Baahon me bahen daale bahut nritya huye,?
Lout aate hain ab namaskar ki mudra mein.?

(Namaste

Pranam, namaskar, namaste and pranipat,?
These were part our value system since ages
Then a wind blew from the West,
And hospitality became physical,?
Culture of handshakes began,?
Our Namaste became archaic.?
We shook hands with many,?
We began "progressive"
Handshakes were followed by hugs,?
The diplomacy of hugs was in coinage,?
Physicality started mixing with hospitality.?

Then another wind blew from China,?
Surface communication shook the world,?
Even the superpower was terrified,?
We took back our hands,?
Hid our faces,?
Those who used to meet everyday became untouchable all of a sudden,?
We started hiding even in our homes,?
Those rounds of tea with friends stopped,?
The age of apprehension set in,?
Who knows who has come from where,?
And returned from which Jamaat (group).

Out of fear, we again started doing Namaste,?
Maybe out of fear but values have returned to us,?
Even embraces and kisses are not without fear,?
Enough of dancing arms in arms,?
Let us return to the pose of Namaskar.)

Wapsi

Aesi wapsi kisne sochi thi.?
Par jab pet me aag dhadhakti hai,?
Aur jeb me phooti koudi na ho,?
To pardesi kya kare.?

Sarkari waade jab khokhle ho jaaye,?
Bhavisya jab timir se bhara ho,?
Tab ghar ki hi yaad aati hai.?

In pairon ne to duniya napi hai,?
Kuchh hazaar kilometre kya hai,?
Desh me band ki ghoana hai,?
Phir bhi hazaron nikal pade hain,?
Bachhe, mahilayen aur bujurg,?
Cycle ke dande par sota hua bachcha,?
Baap puri shiddat se aage badhta hua,?

Wapsi ki aesi tasvir abhutpurv hai,?
Dhulmul vyavastha dosharopan me vyast,?
Wapsi se aone bhi nakhush.?

Ye aesa sankraman kaal hai,?
Sabke dhairya ki agni pariksha hai.?
Kya vyakti, kya sarkar,?
Sadak par chalta hua hujum,?
Palayan ki tasvir dikha raha,?
Kahin wo chand se bhi nahi lout rahe,?

Satta ke uttung shikhar par se utariye,?
Aapki janta aa rahi hai,?
Unhe aapka sinhasan nahi chahiye,?
Aapki netritva ko asli pariksha hai,?
Sankraman ko rok lijiye,?
Wo har taraf potri lekar nikal pada hai.?

(The Return

Who would have anticipated a homecoming like this??
But when the belly is on fire
And there isn't a penny in the pocket,?
What does a migrant do??

When government promises have hollowed out,?
And the future looks bleak,?
Then you remember only home,?
These feet have measured the earth,?
A few thousand kilometres is nothing,?
They announced a lockdown,?
Yet thousands left,?
Children, women and the elderly,?
A child who slept on the slender pipe of the bicycle,?
The father who surged with all his energy left,?

The image of this return was unprecedented,?
While systems blamed each other,?
The families were not happy with the return of their people.?
What is this contagion era??
Where we must go through the fire test,?
What individual, what state!?
On the roads, you saw a flood of humans,?
A mirrored image of migration,?
Are they returning from the moon, too??

Step down from peaks of power,?
Your people have returned,?
They don't want your throne,?
They pose a test for your leadership.?
Stop this virus,?
It is going everywhere,?
With luggage on bent backs.)

Chhuan

Kitni teji se bhaag rahe the.?
Kya paana tha??
Kitna paana tha??
Loutkar to ghar hi aana tha

Ab kaisa lag raha hai,?
Pralay ki aahat sun rahe ho,?
Jivan hai to gati hai
Gati hi jivan nahi hai,?
Adrishya bediyan kaisi lag rahi hai??
Sab kuchh tham sa gaya hai.?
Alpviram ka matlab samjho,?
Thahrao ka marm jano,?
Sab kuchh drut chahiye tha tumhe,?
Ab dhairya kya kah raha hai??
Gale nahi miloge dost,?
Ek chhuan se dar gaye!?

Ab jab ghar me ho,?
Ank mein kuchh samet lo,?
Jispar tumhari najar nahi gayi,?
Wo purane album tumhe bulaate hain,?
Wo rishte jo yantrik ho gaye the,?
Usme bhi jaan bhar do.?

Pata hai bahar hahakar macha hai,?
Par andar ka kolahal kuch shant hua hai,?
Bediyon ki baat chhodo,?
Shabnam ke janjiron ki baat karte hain,?
Aankhon mein aankhen daal ke dekhte hain,?
Palak jhapkane wala khel khelte hain.?

(Touch

How fast you were running!?
What had you set out to achieve??
And how much??
You had to return home, after all.?

How do you feel now??
Can you hear the footsteps of the apocalypse??
Speed is meaningful only if there is life,?
Speed is not life,?
How do you feel in invisible shackles??
Everything has come to a halt,?
Understand the meaning of comma,?
Know the essence of a big pause.?

You had wanted everything fast,?
What does patience tell you now??
Would not you embrace me, my friend??
You are now scared of my touch.?

Now that you are home,?
Take in your embrace everything,?
Things you never bothered to see,?
Old albums beckon you,?
Relations that had become mechanical,?
You have to put life into them.?

You know there is chaos all around,?
But the noise inside us has subsided a bit,?
Let us not discuss shackles,?
Let us rather discuss shackles of dews,?
Look into my eyes,?
We should play the game of who blinks first.)

(Santosh Singh is an author and Patna-based Assistant Editor with The Indian Express)