Thirty-five-year-old 'Abeyma’ Laicharam Ichan Devi's wails envelop the cavernous open halls of the Khoyol Keithel relief camp in Moirang, where about 400 Meitei families from neighbouring border villages have taken shelter. She says that every time she tries to shut her eyes and sleep, she gets nightmare of fires—of the fire that consumed not only her house, but her entire village. She recalls how mobs descended upon Torbung, located on the border of Churachandpur and Bishnupur, and started looting and burning houses.

“I was attacked on my way here. They beat my husband; our four little children were scattered everywhere. I thought they were all going to die,” she says between sobs. It took her five days to reach the safety of the camp, but even now, she doesn’t feel safe. “Moirang is very close to the Churachandpur border. There is still firing going on in the border villages at night,” she says. Her husband, along with other men from the camp, helps the local people to guard the village against further attacks at night. Such armed vigils by volunteers and civilians are, at the moment, common across the violence-stricken districts. Ichan Devi and others in the camp nevertheless live in constant fear of another raid. “I have not taken a bath in eight days; my children are surviving on biscuits. Soon, they won’t even have that,” she adds, pointing at her oldest son, who is six years old.

In another relief camp in Imphal, Terapur resident Bijaya recalls getting a call from her daughter in Yengkhomang on May 3. “She was seeking help; she said her village was under attack.” Bijaya, who is in her 50s, says she was frantic. “I am an old woman; I don’t know what was happening. I called the police, but no one answered,” she recalls. It was finally some neighbours who helped her arrange a car for her daughter to return to Terapur, where it was relatively safe till May 4. “Eventually, the mobs reached my house as well and we had to run,” she recalls. “We had no man in the house. All the people who came to attack were men with arms. We were very scared,” she states.

Savitri, an elderly woman who escaped from Churachandpur states that even senior citizens were not spared. “I have seen violence in Manipur before, but I have never seen such lawlessness,” she avers.

None of these women have any homes left to go back to. “They burned them all and have declared our ancestral lands in Churachandpur as tribal land. It is rightfully our land, which belonged to the Meiteis. Churachandpur is my home,” she states.

At least 35,000 people were displaced from their homes in the violence that continued unabated in the state for nearly a week. A majority of those displaced and at present sheltered in camps are women, children and the elderly. Many of them who spoke to Outlook have no idea why the other community suddenly attacked their homes or where they would go once the relief camps run out of rations. They hope the government will provide them with security and rehabilitation, but their hopes remain grim.

In other parts, women are dealing with not only the loss of home, but also their loved ones. Tears roll down 33-year-old Nengjahoi Kipgen’s eyes as she holds up a picture of her husband, Sehkhohao ‘Haopu’ Kipgen in Churachandpur. Haopu, a farmer and local tribal rights activist, was reportedly killed by a Meitei mob near Kangbai on May 3. A video of the lynching has since been widely circulated on the social media, despite long internet shutdown in the state. “That’s how we found out he had been killed. I couldn’t watch the video, but my mother-in-law can confirm,” she says. Nengjahoi, who has four young children, does not know how she is going to look after the family anymore. “My husband is gone, our house is gone, our lands are gone,” she says.

The Biren Singh government in Manipur has offered Rs 5 lakh as compensation to the next of kin of those killed in the violence between the two communities—the Kukis and the Meiteis—earlier this month. Nengjahoi, however, says that Rs 5 lakh is not enough. She adds, “My six-year-old daughter has been asking me what happened to her father; why we are living in a neighbour’s house. I don’t know what to tell her,” she says.

Activist Kumam Davidson Singh—who has been working with the children affected by the recent conflict—states that there has been mass displacement of children across the state and there is barely any attention being given to them. Schools and colleges in Manipur have remained shut since the violence and even though curfew timings have been relaxed, it may take weeks for the state to fully return to normalcy.

“There are over 60-70 children in the camp I am looking after. The children here have shared their pain over losing their homes, their books, their toys and even their pets. Their lives have been completely disrupted; many have escaped attacks while their villages were being burned down,” says Singh. “Exposure to ghastly violence will have a long-term psychological impact on children,” he adds.

Singh and a few others from a non-profit organisation, Matai Society, have initiated a “Conflict Response Centre for Conflict-Affected Children And Youth”, where they are providing books, classes, toys, eatables and clothes to children. They have also been trying to arrange for counselling sessions and psychological support for those affected by trauma. “It is very concerning to see young kids suddenly playing with sticks as though the sticks were guns or carrying out mock raids. While the children are imbibing it subconsciously, the youth are picking up real guns, be it in a sense of fear or self defence,” Singh adds.

L Haokip, a member of the Kuki Innpi, Manipur, who is working on the ground to rehabilitate the villagers in Kangpokpi, says that the elderly, pregnant women and the mentally ill have also been having a hard time. Reproductive and maternity services have been severely hit.?“Many women have delivered babies on roads and in cars. Several pregnant and lactating women are currently in relief homes with no medical support or nutrition,” he adds.

With the crisis leading to prices of goods and services skyrocketing, the availability of sanitary napkins and hygienic toilets has sunk. Non-profit organisations such as 'WeTheChange' in collaboration with Red Cross Society in Kangpokpi and Senapati districts have been making efforts to raise funds to support 14,000 displaced women in the areas with?three months'?supply of sanitary napkins.

The conflict has been hard on the elderly and the mentally ill, many of whom cannot understand why the neighbours were fighting. A 78-year-old man with dementia who escaped from Khongsai Veng when the Meiteis in Imphal attacked the Kuki colony says that he has no idea what has happened. “I cannot walk properly, so I had to be carried all the way here from Imphal. If it were not for those young men, I would be dead,” he says. “My heart is completely broken. I don’t know why our brothers attacked us,” he adds.

Inmates across relief camps express anxiety and depression. But perhaps the most long-term impact would eventually be felt by the youth of Manipur. Take the case of 19-year-old C. Kipgen. A resident of Kangpokpi, Kipgen who had been taking coaching classes to prepare for competitive exams in Imphal, says that her future now seems doomed. “I come from a family of farmers and am a first-generation student. This will set my whole family back as I cannot continue my education in Manipur anymore,” she adds. While there are no good higher education institutions in the hill areas, going back to Imphal, she says, is impossible.

(This appeared in print as 'The Burden of Riots')

Rakhi Bose in Imphal and Churachandpur